UPDATES

going to the beach this weekend coming
BEACH, BIKINI, BOTTLE OF MALIBU AND FINGERS CROSSED NAKED MEN (MMMMM) REALXING DRINKING AND SUNBAKING my style ohhhh cant wait. thats another story


Went to jakarta on sunday on the express upper class train. Armpits in my face from the people standing up. I tell you, there is no polite way to stand in front of an australian chick who is sitting down. im either looking at your arse or i have my face in your crutch which is great and not, all at the same time. off the train and cattle herded down the ramps to catch the bus. Bought a ticket and stood in que yeah right like we que over here haha. the doors to the bus exit were closed as the bus had not arrived yet but the fuckers behind were pushing us forward regardless. i turned to Pauline and asked he politely to pick me up off the floor afer I faint. then on the bus we got seats as started at the beginning of the route. An old lady at the next stop hit me in the head, i guess she was asking me to get up and give her my seat. get real i probably paid more since im a bulee (foreigner) A few stops later someone had the most vial b.o ive even smelt in my life. i almost dry reached. at this point i have once again got arses and groins in my face, I have to laugh or cry. We have no idea where we are going im hungry and will pee myself if we hit any more HUGE potholes. something funny happens and sets us both off laughing in histerics. Oh the old lady got her arm caught in the folding door, i tried to help but she would not give me the shopping and she needed to let go in order to get her arm out, she was going off at the door and yet, she would not let me help. Eventually i pushed to door open off her arm and she escaped. (thank you she said to me NOT)so we got to the shopping place and headed underground. mmmmm i was in heaven as it was like china,stalls everywhere over crowded and chaos. we found the closest toilet and as Pauline said it was the worst smell she has ever smelt and coming from china that says a lot ,HEY MUM AND ALISON hahahha I was not going in there to find out. We headed across to the handicrafts market and this was huge. We could have shopped there the whole day and not seen it all properly. I bought a few gifts from here.up a back street a guy talked us in to eating at his place and after eating her charged us like triple what we pay back in bogor. At this point I am not happy being a bulee and yet being paid their wages and still being charge heaps. Then rang a mate to meet him and he told us to get on bus 609, we walked around in squares to find the bus depot and got a little help on the way, helps having confused faces on and being 2 female bulees, haha the security guard put us on bus 69 to go to cinere mall which is where we asked about, they kicked us of that bus 2 minutes into the ride, we found bus 609 and jumped onto it to get about 5 minutes along and told wrong bus ladies. get off and he wouldnt give our money back either.
Luckily a local that spoke english seen us with the map out and helped us onto the correct bus and off we went. I swear this bus had a square wheel and the arse was about to fall out of the bus. shit was falling on us from the roof and so many rattles. I only have little boobs but man they nearly were hitting me in the face bouncing so hard. the noise and clanging and banging was scary I was horrified for the first 10 minutes and then it was hilarious to be in this situation and actually sitting there waiting for it to fall apart. man can i get myslef into some scary situations of what. an hour later we reached our destination to meet the guy and his sis to take us back to his house on another form of transport..... motor bikes. this is the guy that we met at the waterfalls a few weeks ago and have kept in contact with him a bit. with offerings of pot and booze, we were off. yipee
i could make the sequel to planes trains buses and bikes.


we stayed there for a few hours meeting the family and eating and drinking.
HENCE AND EXPECTED. WE MISSED THE LAST BUS AND TRAIN back to bogor, haha

We then jumped on the back of the bikes and they took us back 1 hour and half ride. I was laughing at the whole day and saying to myself about having this guy in between my legs and ive not a clue his name.
He spoke no english except three sentences

1 What is your name. cool an introduction after my legs have been wrapped around him for half an hour
2 How old are you and i knew what the third was before he even asked
3 Are you marrried. I answered before he finished his sentence.
getting used to these local men wanting to marry me.

must say i woke this morning with an unusual feeling of either too much on top sex or a few hours in the saddle. much to my disappointment neither was the reason :-(

So I should update a few funnies in the last few weeks.

My house mate is on holidays in aussie and while sitting around dinner one night we were talking about my horendous phobia to spiders and how lucky ive been and bec would save me. Holy shit was all I could say when I got home that night and a huge fucking spider was on the lounge wall. I grabbed the little broom we have and fought him tooth and nail. I won and was shaking and sweating so much afterwards. not funny at all. that night pauline went home and had to fight a scorpion now thats funny haha.


umm Lukes 30th was a hit, after a few jugs of beer and vodkas, I asked him if he was interested in coming and seeing the 1000 islands just off jakarta with us. now luke is not serious at the best of times, so when he put on a straight face and replied "oh i only want to see one or two" i almost peed my pants right there and then. they are called the 1000 island there is only a few there. oh my god it was funny


Our favourite hang out after work has awesome milkshakes, so I order a strawberry one religously? see i have a religion in this country, anyways
some nights I can have a strawberry milkshake, but i cant have a smoothie. And others I can have a smoothie and not a milkshake. Same ingredients but i dont get it.

we went to a new place where you have a hut in the treetops and eat up there and pauline ordered a cup (single) of tea. sorry mam you can only order two at a time. they would only serve a caraffe not a cup. what the????

you can buy vodka here in the dodgy shops where it is hidden behind all the stock. WELL pauline and I had a bottle one night that i swear and would bet you that it was nail polish removal and paint thinners and metho all mixed together. I felt like the enamel was being stripped off my teeth right before my eyes. hence we get our vodka from the guy that has links with the american embassy now mmmmmmmm lesson learnt

haha I invited the new teacher around to check out my place and for dinner and stuff wink wink. Well after talking for a few hours, actually less but anyways, I decided that there was no chance and we will be just friends haha I hinted on several occasions that the angkots would finish soon he should go he was like no no its ok ill go by ojek (motorbike) well after a few hours and hinting the whole time i had to go to bed he insisted he would stay and go in the morning. I was so over it all i said yeah whatever. well he woke me at 2 something when security knocked on the gate. they do that so we know that they are actually working and we are getting our moneys worth so after explaining that i went back to sleep to get woken at 430 when the mosque called prayer, with trace trace what the hell is that. i was soo shitty by now, that when he woke me at 530 when the hawkers started walking the lane with trace trace what is that, i could have smashed him. i got up at 7.30 to get out of the room with him. shitty as, he expected me to make him breakfast and he had been slagging off at farouc expecting things from me. I showed him the kitchen, where he cooked HIS breakfast and left me the dishes. all morning i was telling him it was time to go and he kept saying i will wait and we can go together. WELL i offered him the shower first which he took and after getting out of the shower, proceeded to tell me that he had broke the tap and couldnt turn off the water. fuck fuck fuck. so i had to trun the water off to the whole house have no shower and go to work for my 1oclock class. needless to say i was shitty with him all day.
I had to ring bec and tell her what happened and that we had no water to the house.
As girls we fixed the tap later that night and had water back on. GIRL POWER

I have learnt that lesson too, he often invites himself around and I state "no thanks"

the boys dont often invite me to play pool anymore with them as i kick there arses each time. oh well, I play pool with Farouc most weeks and he whips me. Im not a sore loser so its all good. He finds it strange, and funny that i dance around the table singing and am totally not serious and yet i play so well.

umm ill try be a good girl and update more often, oh speaking of not being good
my bad points living in Indonesia,


I am 31 and not married strike 1
I dont have a religion so this is illegal here strike 2
I drink strike 3
i have tattoos strike 4
i wear a tank top showing that i have boobs god forbid strike 5
i wear a skirt above my knees strike 6
i have piercing in lots of places strike 7
i wear nail polish which is dirty strike 8

and my latest
oh noo I practise yoga. this is the devils excersie as it improves sex strike 9

I LOVE LIVING HERE

LOVE YOU ALL CHEERS AND "GOD BLESS"